Delts has a fun job. He operates a special cherry-picker that’s used for taking down trees that are no longer viable. He maneuvers the basket so he can get close to a large branch, at which point he uses a chainsaw to cut through it, and then the massive piece of wood falls down to the ground, often shaking the ground. Because of things nearby and other logistics, he often has to manhandle the partially sawed-off piece to direct it to a safe spot, which puts his impressive upper body and grip strength to good use. Essentially, it’s a little boy’s dream job – using a giant toy to bust up stuff! And he even gets a salary!
My Accidental Hero (again!)
Not only is it fun, but sometimes heroic. Once a scared-y cat inadvisedly jumped into a tree that Delts was beginning to work on. Despite this apparent feline death wish, the cat’s owner not only begged to differ, but begged Delts to save her kitty. Delts painstakingly guided the huge apparatus, following the tiny cat as it moved nervously from one perch to another. With patience and cajoling, he finally convinced the kitten to crawl onto his hand, and brought the cat down to earth. I’m not sure his boss was happy about the extra time spent, but one cat owner was absolutely ecstatic, adding to Delts’ legion of admirers.
Any job like that has its risks and odd occurrences. There was the time when a guy asked him if he’d be willing to drop a giant log on a car. The fellow said he didn’t like his car, and figured this would be a great way to collect some insurance dollars and get a new one. Delts declined, though maybe not entirely on principle – in this day of reality TV, he figured there must have been some cellphone cam recording nearby. And besides, the guy wasn’t even offering decent money. Of course, the fact that he looked like an especially hyped-up tweaker didn’t particularly inspire confidence. Come to think of it, Delts never found out for sure if the guy even owned the car – maybe he was planning to get back at somebody.
One, Two, Tree, Phwoar!
Sometimes things go completely to extremes. One day he was working on taking down a really tall tree. It was at the edge of a park near a busy street with shops nearby. His crew had cordoned off the area, and made sure people stayed away. Delts chainsawed through a huge branch, which finally succumbed, breaking off and falling ominously to the ground. Delts had tried to push it towards a safe area, but even his strength wasn’t enough this time, and it went tumbling in the wrong direction. It hit a fire hydrant, and water immediately shot way into the air. A flock of birds all flew out of a tree at once. A driver passing by was distracted by the sudden geyser and birds, and between that and the cellphone conversation he was having, he lost control of his car and drove onto the sidewalk. Pedestrians scattered just in time, but the car plunged right through a plate glass window, destroying the front of a restaurant and coming to a stop inside.
A restaurant patron’s hat came off and fell into his French onion soup, causing his toupee to partially come loose. Hot soup cascaded onto his pants. His dining companion brushed herself off, frowned, and said, “I won’t have what he’s having.” Across the room a man asked, “does this mean that I won’t get seconds on pie?”
Seeing the melee below, Delts just shook his head in amazement and said, “Wow. One superset too many last night, and look what happens. But you know, I never liked that restaurant anyway.”